I seriously doubt that very many people are interested in what goes on in the thoughts of a minister during his quiet/study time. But, on the other hand, if you have ever wondered, I thought I would share just one small portion of just one day in my personal study time.
I started this morning with a brief prayer as I opened my Bible for my daily reading. I started off by reading Psalm 31, and I noticed that I had v. 5 circled, which most would recognize as coming from the lips of Jesus as he passed from this physical life (thought – how much of Jesus’s life must have been framed by the Psalms!) Later on I have v. 23 underlined – “For I said in my haste, ‘I am cut off from before your eyes,’ nevertheless you heard the voice of my supplications when I cried out to you.” Just another piece of evidence that I feel strongly contradicts a rather vapid idea that God abandoned Jesus on the cross.
Then, as I am an unabashed, unapologetic student, I read a chapter in a book detailing the history of the church in the 2nd century. It was a fascinating chapter focusing on how the church was a community of the book – many books, actually. While there was nothing earth-shattering in the chapter, there was a funny little parenthesis that related the (apocryphal) story of the apostle John commanding all the bedbugs in his room to leave so he could get a good night’s sleep. I guess some authors in the 2nd century just had way too much spare time on their hands.
I then turned to yet another book, this one recommended by an internet friend. This book is a collection of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “landmark” speeches. This book is deeply troubling to me. In its pages I hear a man calling for America to treat a large number of its citizens like human beings. This was during a period of time in which a man, woman, or child could be legally and systematically attacked and discriminated against simply on the basis of the color of their skin. It was a time when many Christians supported their government and condemned this movement that simply sought to have black human beings treated like white human beings – who were somehow regarded as superior because of the whiteness of their skin. It is, in 2019, a terrifying book to read, because it took place during my earliest childhood and yet I have been virtually insulated from the reality that my black brothers and sisters had to face.
Having completed my Bible reading and personal study time, I turned on my computer only to find story after story of another, hideous evil. It seems unthinkable – unconscionable really – in 2019, but the far left-wing groups in America that champion “abortion rights” are moving beyond mere abortion and are actually promoting the killing of infants who are described as “problem” or “unwanted” infants. Although “infanticide” is a word they strictly avoid, that is precisely what it is. Cold blooded murder. One article I read pointed out that as a few states move to make abortion more difficult, other states are moving in the opposite direction into the brave new world of having doctors assist in the deaths of newborn babies.
Into your hands I commit my spirit. The apostle John chasing away bedbugs. I have a dream that one day my children will be judged by the content of their character, and not the color of their skin. Infanticide.
One tiny little window into what I work through on a daily basis.
O Lord, how long, how long?